Written September 2008
by Cliff Feldwick
A potpourri of stupid computer tricks this month:
Number one: Office 2007. OK, everyone understands that vendors can’t just sit there and sell the same product for years and years, even if it works. After all, we now own it, so they’re not making any more money on that and have to “improve” it to sell us a new version. But you know Office 2007 is bad when PC Magazine is busy selling books/tutorials with the question “Struggling to make sense of The Ribbon?” Well, yes indeed I was. I volunteer some at a local nonprofit that had Office 2007 loaded, and had so much trouble doing what used to be simple tasks in Excel that I ended e-mailing the data home, doing the work easily there in Excel 2003 and e-mailing it back to be converted to the 2007 version. The you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-to-call-this-intuitive nature of the “ribbon interface” makes me believe that most of their designers are (or have been in the past) heavily on drugs. That’s the only explanation I’ve got. Do you know anyone who has used it that actually likes it? If you own an earlier version, for heaven’s sake don’t “upgrade”.
Number two: Not Cuil. Yes, trendy ones, that’s pronounced “cool”. Showing, that for companies like this one, marketing and hype far exceed boring ideas like functionality and usefulness. Started by some ex-Google guys as the next, best search engine, cuil.com was launched with enormous amounts of media blitz. But like promising your loved one the vacation of her dreams and ending up bowling in Glen Burnie, you better be ready for the aftermath when things aren’t up to what was expected.
And aftermath they got. Most reviews have noted the off-the-wall associations, the failure to find websites with the exact same name as the search term entered, and other unexplainable anomalies. I entered my name, for instance, and did get my website but also articles from 2001, links to a “website” named alcohol.companiesinyourarea.com (lots of potential jokes there) that didn’t actually exist (but you could buy the name), and a genealogical website listing showing a William Feldwick married Mary Pollard on 24 Oct 1848. Considering that Feldwicks have been getting married in the UK since the 1500’s, why exactly did it pick up this one, and why William? There is a tremendous “huh?” factor in their results. If you like mysteries, try figuring out their logic. Otherwise, stick to Google.
Number three: Cloud computing. Once more to Wikipedia, our true source (lord help us) for much info on technical terms: Cloud computing “is a style of computing where IT-related capabilities are provided ‘as a service’, allowing users to access technology-enabled services ‘in the cloud’ without knowledge of, expertise with, or control over the technology infrastructure that supports them.” And while most users wish they could get results from their computers and software without knowledge or expertise in the underlying technology, you really need to contemplate the lack of control.
This concept was known last year as “software as a service” and further back as asp’s (application service providers), BPO’s (business process outsourcers) or even MSP’s (managed service providers). But no matter how much lipstick you put on this pig, it’s still a really bad idea, even at two in the morning. Because there is money to be made here, it will keep resurfacing, championed by people like Google, Amazon and Salesforce.com, who is now large, international and sucking up bucks like mad.
Cloud computing is not to be confused with intelligent websites such as the Business Women’s Network, which has a front interface with a database hiding behind that knows your e-mail, whether you have registered for an event and if they have your money (and can ask for it if they don’t). No, cloud computing is having the actual application, such as word processing, out “in the cloud”, hosted by a site who-cares-where.
The big elephant in this room is data security. Getting an answer to who, what and where of your files is counter to the whole idea, but really should make you nervous. And what happens when the provider goes belly up, which they just might do? Who has the data, and how do you keep working? Not a thought to be taken lightly. Bottom line: nothing using the internet for hosting will be as fast or as secure as your own program running on your own PC. And you get to decide when and if you want to change it, not someone hosting a service.
Cliff Feldwick is president of Riverside Computer Consultants and provides data retrieval, network services and PC troubleshooting, when not coming up with his own bad ideas. He can be reached at 410-880-0171 or at cliff@feldwick.com.