How’s Your Feedback?
(Written August 2004)
By Cliff Feldwick
“So, how are you doing?”
It’s the great lubricant, both for social and business use. But most of us instinctively understand what a smart man once told me: “The only person who really wants to know how you’re doing is your doctor.”
All this is fine unless you’re in charge of a group or a project where you should know what’s going on. Then lack of feedback, for whatever reason, can be a fatal flaw. So, how’s your feedback? Do you regularly receive updates that go beyond “Just fine”? You’re not asking for microscopic detail (or you shouldn’t be, unless you’re trying to micro-manage, a sure way to cut off all feedback). You just need information before it comes up and gently taps you on the back of the head with a rubber hammer.
The incident that started this musing was the expression of amazement from an executive in a large local company. It seems that the computer support had been farmed out to a sub-contract in Texas. Not at all unusual, although it’s usually to India. The sad part was the result - the people in Texas were not that helpful, so the local office personnel had adopted a tried and true method from the past: find someone in the office who had had the same problem and ask them what they did. End result – people roaming the halls looking for help. Not exactly what the company had in mind, especially considering the salaries and lost productivity of the workers involved.
So how could the “people in charge” have known what was happening? The best answer, of course, is to ask the people who had to live with the decision, then actually listen to their answers. OK, you say, what’s the alternative to that fantasy? They could monitor the usage of the help desk. They’re probably paying per call. If the number of calls goes down, do you really think that things are going that much better? Probably not, so it means that people are not bothering to call. Follow this to the “why not?” But notice how much easier it would be if you could just ask? So why can’t/won’t people do that?
Perhaps the main reason is that people don’t like to re-visit a decision. There’s always plenty of new work to do, and the initial decision-making process could have involved getting input and approval from all sorts of people (especially in a larger company). So the “good heavens, let’s not go there again” syndrome kicks in. And let’s not avoid the possibility that the decision may have been a bad one. No one wants to face that. It’s demoralizing, and too much of it can damage your career. Besides, the people who have to live with it are usually downstream from you, and the people evaluating you are upstream, so there’s no damage. Certainly.
But what if it’s your company or your project? How can you get people to level with you?
The same man who gave me the doctor quote had a Friday lunch with his staff. Pizza was brought in to the conference room, and people were invited to say what was going on. Obviously, this requires some leadership skill so the “let me tell you all the wonderful things I did this week” or the “if Cliff would just do what he was supposed to be doing, we’d all be finished …” bologna doesn’t take over. But when it works, people mention what needs attention, and often others volunteer to help. And you get to hear the truth.
Another excellent way to get feedback is to abandon controlling the conversations, and invite others, often repeatedly, to give you more information. It is said that good salesmen (and good managers) ask more questions to get more answers. And they can’t be “Why?” questions either. “Why did you do that?” is going to put the other person on the spot, and seldom produces the trust that leads to real information. Rather, you use questions like “Tell me more” or “Is there anything else I should know?” When the other person has run out of information, they’ll say so. But if you pause and invite them to say more, you can get to the heart of the matter. And don’t forget the emotional part of what you hear; when you hear it, acknowledge it and don’t respond with reasons why he or she should not feel that way.
OK, you say, but this means I’ll be waiting forever to get to the point. If I directed the conversation, we’d get to the payoff faster. Not necessarily. If you take charge, useful information that would avert having to go back again may be stifled. Remember, your goal is to learn.
For a lot more information on the above techniques, I highly recommend the book “Connecting with Self and Others” by Sherod Miller, et al. Available for a good price on Amazon.com (another great benefit of the Internet – cheap “used” books that haven’t even had the backs creased).
A good way of checking on your feedback level is to monitor the number of times you think “I should have known that” or “Why didn’t they say that before?” If they are increasing, you’re getting out of touch.
So, how’s your feedback?
Cliff Feldwick is president of Riverside Computer Consultants, Inc. and provides consulting to companies having language problems or other management/IT issues, as well as traditional networking and troubleshooting. He can be reached at 410-880-0171 or at cliff@feldwick.com.