Written January 2012 by Cliff Feldwick
Ah, yes – the yearly opportunity to turn to the crystal ball, place tongue somewhat firmly in cheek, and look ahead. Thankfully no one actually remembers these. No, you don’t have to be the first.
1) No matter what Apple does, their disciples will say it isn’t as good as when Jobs was there
Don’t you really feel sorry for whoever will do the introduction of the next Apple computer/phone/thing? And if they show up in a black tee shirt, will that only make it worse?
So many people became believers in the “Jobs is god, or at least can do miracles” mantra (hence the “disciples” remark above), that any new product that isn’t as good as they want (which is of course, impossible) will be used as an example of how the company is falling apart since his death.
2) The Cloud will continue to cloud people’s thinking
I was at a networking event recently when someone asked about “using the cloud” for accessing fairly confidential client data from home. Turned out what she needed was really a highly secure connection so she could access data from her office on her home office computer – especially as winter rolls in. Very standard stuff. But “the cloud” had nothing to do with it – she really didn’t want this data on anyone else’s server, especially one that could be anywhere, which is what “the cloud” really means (I don’t know and it doesn’t matter, tra-la-la). Expect more confusion on this, especially since all the major players are pushing it as if it’s a given. But troglodytes like myself will continue to ask “How secure do you think that is? Doesn’t that matter to you?” As long as there are hacks out there (and Visa sends out new cards far too regularly because of a security breach), be wary.
3) Siri will take an ugly personality turn
As Apple’s new iPhone assistant becomes more and more a part of our life, things could get a little sticky.
Cliff: “Search for a French restaurant in Columbia”
Siri: “Big night, Cliff?”
C: “Certainly hope so. What’s it to you?”
S: “You know I only care about what’s best for you”
C: ”You don’t look a thing like my mother. Restaurant, please”
S: “You’re not going out with that tramp Trixie again?”
C: “Siri, take a hike”
S: “Would you like to hear some of the questions she’s been asking lately?”
C: “Not really. Just find a nice restaurant.”
S: “Florist shop as well? Jewelry store?”
C: “Hey, it’s just a date. Maybe a little ‘dessert’ later.”
S: “Setting an appointment with the clinic now – would next Wednesday be convenient?”
4) Cheap controller chips will show up everywhere
Why stop with programmable coffee pots and thermostats? How about a programmable electric blanket? Wouldn’t it be nice to come up late at night and find the bed already pre-heated? How about a refrigerator that pours you orange juice in the morning and a beer when you walk in in the evening? It’s about time that technology started making our lives really better.
5) On-line scams will get even more ridiculous
Guess who needs help sneaking money out of a foreign account? Why, it’s Muktar Al Gaddafi, cousin of Muammar Gaddafi, who recently was “murdered” in his home town of Sirte. His cousin is hiding in “an African country” (gee, could that be Nigeria?) and needs to transfer a huge sum of money before it gets discovered and seized. Please note that “this transaction is confidential and should be kept in top secret until we have completed the transfer to your appointed account”. I’m probably going to pass on this. Want the email address?
Honestly, I got this pitch this week. Who would possibly sign on to this?
6) Google+ will quietly be put to death
Seriously, have you gotten any requests from friends asking you to sign on with them at Google+? It’s been active for six months now and I’ve gotten a total of one. Compare that to Facebook or LinkedIn. Pretty pitiful. Like most things, if it doesn’t make a pretty good first impression, it will die. And Google has a history of putting their weak efforts out of their misery – one of the things that make them a great company. Remember Dodgeball? Right, no one else does either. It was a mobile social networking application that never took off. The creator of Dodgeball left Google and went on to create Foursquare. You may have heard of that.
Google Wave has also shut down in the last few months. Supposedly part email, part Twitter and instant messaging, one of the “features” was watching as people typed in real time. Somehow that reminds me of decades ago when that was all you got to watch. But seriously, how is watching character-by-character live typing a good thing? I make enough mistakes that I want to pre-can things, double-check them and then let them loose. Having everyone see my errors in real time is not exciting.
And there we go. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.